I’m not ready for people to have an opinion about me – about the things I write, or how I look or anything. I’m not ready for people to spot typos or say mean things. I’ve not perfected myself or my life enough to put anything “out there” yet. I’ve had pictures taken without getting braces for my teeth or applying fake tan to my legs – and I don’t want people to say things about my crooked teeth or pale legs.
I’m not joking, I’m terrified. I don’t have a 5-year business plan for ‘Women with Sparkle’- shouldn’t I have something like that before I do something like this? All I want to do is help women (including myself) feel “less crappy and more sparkly”. But, what if people think that is silly or trivial – or that I am silly or trivial? Can I handle that?
So, maybe I’ll just wait. Maybe I’ll wait until I have tanned legs and a business degree. Maybe I’ll just stay safe and quiet about my dream for ‘Women with Sparkle’ and hold off until I’m perfect, don’t eat chocolate or row with my husband. When I’m perfect and my life is perfect then I should do something like this, but not now.
But, you know what? I’ve been waiting a looooooooong time to get on with the things that I really want to do. Things that will make me feel like I’m living my life instead of just watching other people live theirs. Yes, waiting is a LOT safer but it’s also blooming boring and frustrating! If you just keep waiting and don’t start getting on with the thing/s you reaaallly want to do, then it starts to suck the life out of you! You lose your sparkle! You know that feeling?
So, here’s the thing. If I wait until I’m ready and everything is perfect, until I am perfect, then I will never, ever move forward. I’ll stay right here, sat at my computer, looking at other people’s lives and daydreaming about the life I want. If I’m always scared of the “invisible audience” of people who I assume are waiting to judge me, hate me and point out my faults, rather than be inspired by all those gorgeous people out there cheering me on, I’ll miss out on the life I’ve been waiting to start.
I want to help women sparkle more. I want to sparkle more. But, do I wait until I’m 100% ready, until I’m 100% sparkly or do I just go for it? Do I decide that crooked teeth, spelling mistakes and even people not liking me, will always be there? Do I FINALLY decide that a little progress in my life – no matter how small – is better than perfect?
So (deep breath) here it goes. Take a look at my website – www.womenwithsparkle.com (email me if you spot typos), go stalk me on Instagram @womenwithsparkle – be lovely, unkind or indifferent BUT also decide that you too will take one step and do something you’re not ready to do. Something that scares you but you REALLY want to do. Take one small step towards the life that you want and not the one you have and are a bit fed up with.
Book that holiday and don’t worry about losing 10lbs; write the first page of the book and don’t worry about finishing it; make the phone call to ask about the course dates and don’t worry about not having the time or money yet; go buy the outfit that you don’t know where you’d wear it to; get the domain name for your business idea; go on a date with someone you wouldn’t normally give a chance; try Zumba or Pilates or a green smoothie; sort a girls night out and listen to lots of 90’s music; strike up a conversation with a stranger; have friends over for dinner without your house being picture perfect; take a singing lesson; book a meeting with your boss to talk about the changes you want to see in your role; tell your partner you need more help around the house so you can have more time for you; go see a doctor about the thing that has been troubling you; write a list of the things that you want to do this year and work towards doing one of them in the next month – just take one step! You and I have been standing and staring at life for long enough. Let’s get moving lovely ladies!
So, seeing as I don’t feel ready to do this, hopefully you haven’t read this. Hopefully you haven’t spotted my flaws (or that underneath my long t-shirt there is a huge rip in the gusset of my leggings!) or that I don’t really know how instagram works yet, but will just wing it for a while. But, just on the off chance that you have read this, know that you and I are not perfect, but honestly who cares, let’s forget perfect (it’s sooooo last season) – it’s all about the progress!